this blog is dedicated to cary grant (ne. archibald leach) – circus acrobat, orange-skinned acidhead, matinee idol and mae west boytoy – for it was he who first annointed me into the wretched pestilence that is the male world, and set me upon this long, tawdry road of lechery and ruin.
‘you have me at a disadvantage‘ he informs eva marie saint in the famous dining car scene in hitchcock’s north by northwest. i was thirteen and just beginning to stir with electric inklings of the nightmare to come…
cary said it like it was nothing. he hung it out there like he said it every manly, orange-skinned day of his manly life.
‘what??!!‘ i screamed out. my ears were burning. ‘WHAT?!‘ i was bouncing on my feet. ‘did you hear that?! he said it! he said it! i can’t believe he said it!‘ i was almost in tears. i was shouting, i was shaking.
“SIT!’ my father ordered sternly ’and be quiet.’ he hunkered down, appalled at the spectacle i’d made of myself in the crowded theater. he shook his head.
a moment later he turned quietly in his seat, and winked at me.
pretending: that is the life of a testicle.